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Indeed, it’s great to be back, old friends...

... and I really mean that.

For those of you tuning in for the first time, and who could be bothered - here’s all you need to know:

I started writing this column at the start of last year’s Super Rugby, and I’m grateful that SuperSport and the Blue Bulls Rugby Union have given me their blessing to do so again. It’s not a dedicated rugby review and preview column, neither am I writing on behalf of the Bulls or SA Rugby, or the United Nations. This is like a diary entry, an extended tweet if you will – a window into my world...

Let me start by apologising for that corny and ultimately misleading “window into my world” part. I’m a pretty simple man.

I have many loves, of which music is the first. The lady in my life would’ve been number one, if it weren’t for her general apathy towards our relationship and basically life in its entirety. She is the second most famous bulldog in Pretoria, or perhaps the world, second only to that surfing snob you can find in the Youtube clip. Of course, I’m talking about the very obese, and very discourteous Lady Zsa Zsa. You’ll get to know her as the weeks go by...

I’m a quarter of a century old this year, the first 18 years of those spent in my hometown Port Elizabeth, the last three spent as a bachelor and a semi-professional master of ceremonies at weddings, because apparently I’m just not quite best-man material.

Things I dislike include vegetables that have been made to taste like dessert (or rather attempts there at), and world war.

I’m what they call a screw-loose-forward, doing my time at the sanctuary better known as Loftus Versfeld. I love the loose-forward job title - I’ve always felt like we’re very much like the all-rounders of cricket, or in our case, more like all-arounders, right??!!

I’m also not funny.

Those of you that read my columns last year already know this, but here are some things you don’t know (or maybe you do, stalker):

Sadly, I sold the Theatre of Dreams last week, so I will be ‘homeless’ at the end of May, which is about the same time we come back from tour. I hope it’ll be a good one for us, because I won’t be able to handle ‘jobless’ as well.

I’ve grown a centimetre (I can’t explain that).

I’ve developed a new phobia.

The reason being the freak accident I had about 5 weeks ago, which involved a broken window in a restroom and cutting off 4 tendons in my arm. Long story short, recovery is going really well, and I expect to be back on the field in about 3 weeks, assuming my muscles have good memory.

But thanks to ensuing Bathroom Phobia, I now pee in the garden.

The past five weeks have actually been a journey of note. I mean, severing 4 tendons in my arm was actually a podium finish - the next two places would have been the loss of function of my hand, and death.

When you experience something like this, you’re bound to do some thinking. I’m happy to report that, in aid of my recovery, I have - apart from peeing on my jasmine - conditioned myself to avoid that kind of risk. I have refrained from using any and all potent potables, even the slightest of amounts, pretty easily actually, and I’m hitting the gym like never before. It hits back though, but it’s worth the 8 kgs I got in return.

Yip, I’m wishing the next three weeks by.

Super Rugby sure is the most amazing competition on earth. The action the past couple of weekends have been a real treat. As expected, the games have been really tight, mostly low-scoring affairs, especially the derby ones, and after five weeks only one team is unbeaten. Well, I hope that all changes come this weekend, when the boys head down to another sanctuary of South African rugby - Newlands. Regardless, it should be an absolutely epic fixture.

I was really pleased with the weekend’s result over the Reds. When you’re labelled as a boring kick-and-chase team, it’s nice to put 60 points on the defending champions. Ironically, alas, on the back of a loss against the team at the bottom of the log at the moment.

The thing I’m most pleased with is how the team has handled itself after the departure of a core group of players. This means that the next group of players is really stepping up, and that everybody is really supporting Pierre and the rest of the leadership group. There’s a great spirit amongst the boys, and despite the fact that I’m away from them most of the time at the moment, it’s clear for me to see. If I had to sum up my emotions about our team at this point in time, I would have to say – damn I can’t wait to wear my white boots with that pink jersey!

Don’t we look really gorgeous in our new kit?! I was surprised when one of the Puma reps told me that, at this point in time, we’re selling nine pink jerseys for every blue one. I wonder which strip the guys will opt for this weekend...?

One thing is for sure - whichever it is - it won’t matter even in the slightest. We’ve got some proper rugby this weekend.

It’s true. You have to earn the right to dream about being there at the end. I’m hoping that I get to play my small part in the near future.

Thanks for stopping by guys. Feel free to leave comments and questions below - I enjoy some good banter. I’m really looking forward to interacting with you guys this season. Have a good one...

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