Twitter is not for every Twit
It was refreshing to read world number one amateur golfer Patrick Cantlay declare that he’s not on Twitter or Facebook.
“I’m fine if no-one knows what I’m thinking or no-one knows what I’m doing on Friday afternoon at 1:57,” he said.
But there remains a public desire to know what Cantlay, and most of the world’s leading professional golfers, are doing at 1:57 on a Friday afternoon.
It was a discussion that a few golf writers had on a bus back from a press centre recently, somewhere after “Are there spitting cobras on The Links?” and somewhere before, “Where are we eating tonight?”
The debate was around whether some professional golfers were just not suited to the likes of Twitter.
For example, Ian Poulter has no problem telling you what he’s doing at 1:57.34 seconds on a Friday afternoon. He Tweets quicker than he changes hairstyles. But Rory McIlroy seems to just get himself into trouble whenever he Tweets.
“Detail! Detail! Detail” screamed Henry David Thoreau from his cabin in the New England woods. “Our life is frittered away by detail.”
The LPGA Tour was quick to climb onto the social networking bandwagon, and their players were amongst the first to be Tweeting up a storm.
A few years ago, in the interests of research and not because I care, I delved into the whole LPGA Tour Twitter scene. I am still shaken by the experience.
Annika Sorenstam, arguably the greatest woman golfer of all time, once Tweeted as follows (all spelling and grammar errors are left unchanged): “I am at Home Depot (love this store), picking some colors for the babies room. So many choices !! Any suggestions?” There goes the legacy of the Ice Woman of the fairways.
Then there was this vital piece of information from Karen Stupples: “Had the most amazing pro am team today they aranged a birthday cake to be brought out to the 17th tee, we ate it all.” As one does with birthday cake.
Anna Rawson weighed in with a bizarre entry: “The Answer is: Bananas! Mmmm yummo!” Yes, Anna, but what was the question?
Michelle Wie remained as mercurial as ever with this Twitter entry: “Did some chinese calligraphy this morning to find my center.” But did you find a fairway?
Christina Kim boggled the mind with this entry, if you can even understand it: “And I've like super surpassed the 2000 mark in followers!!! SQUEEEE!!!!! Let's see how many more I can get! Yay!!!!!” SQUEEEE?
Kim’s Twitter language was a digital dialect all it’s own. She wrote in another entry: “Mic'ed up and ready to go!!!!!! Lol!!!!!!! Wheeeee! Mas birdies!!!!”
What? It’s like she’d taken a sand bag full of ecstasy tablets and then attacked her keyboard.
So I sign off with a Tweet of my own: “Gone back to cabin in woods. Quiet. Only Twitter here is from the birds. SQUEEEEEE!”