The Jedi and The Cake Tin

In the Springboks’ team hotel in Wellington, there are a number of panels hanging from the ceiling in the reception area, carrying action photographs of Bok / All Black battles along with suitable quotes from players and media. My favourite was this one from former player and journalist Chris Laidlaw: “Rugby may have many problems, but the gravest of these is undoubtedly the persistence of summer”.

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After recording a few links for Thursday night’s Boots ‘n All show, Bob Skinstad and I linked up with Jed Thian, the mastermind behind web-based rugby entertainment known as ‘Alternative Rugby Commentary’. As far as ‘The Jedi’ is concerned, there are no sacred cows in rugby and no-one is spared his mischievous wit or his sharp tongue. Well, perhaps no-one except Richie McCaw, who is clearly an ARC favourite. Give it a go on Google but, be warned, it’s not something you should necessarily let the kids listen to...

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The day before test match day and the Supersport team took a trip to Weta Cave in the Wellington suburb of Miramar, the Cave being the mini museum on the corner of the Weta Workshop where costumes and props were made for blockbuster hits like Lord of the Rings, King Kong, Narnia and District 9 among others. Legendary producer Peter Jackson is one of the owners at Weta and continues to invest substantially in the area, buying old buildings and restoring them to keep large scale development at bay in the area in which he grew up. Available to the public are limited edition replicas of various movie props; for example, for just over R5000 you can be the proud owner of a 4.5 kg alien gun, as used in District 9 and complete with oozing prawn goo. What a shame I’m not on the free excess baggage ticket...

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Back to the hotel for the pre-test team photo and to see who had been given the honour of handing out the team’s jerseys for the match. In another first for Peter de Villiers’ team, the honour was bestowed on a woman for the first time, Irene van Dyk, former Springbok netballer who moved to New Zealand many moons ago and has become the core of their Silver Ferns national team. Before getting on to the serious business of delivering an inspirational message, she apparently had some interesting insights into the challenges of a female athlete producing a urine sample for a dope test after an event...the mind boggles! She is one of the few women who didn’t have to stand on tip toe to hand Andries Bekker his number 18 though.

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The charm offensive continues in New Zealand ahead of their hosting of the 2011 World Cup and the travelling media were invited to a dinner hosted by New Zealand Tourism and the World Cup committee, headed by former New Zealand test cricketer Martin Sneddon. The impromptu guest speaker was David Kirk, the only All Black captain to have hoisted the Webb Ellis Cup, back in 1987. Kirk achieved much in rugby but left it on his terms, before the advent of professionalism in the game, but he clearly has one lingering regret. Having chosen not to be part of the 1986 Cavaliers tour to SA for political reasons, he never had the opportunity to play a series in South Africa, nor meet the old foe in a World Cup. On the pressure facing the All Blacks for the tournament, we were happy to cheekily tell Martin and David that, as South Africa has just proved, you can be great hosts without your team winning! Although they are putting a pretty good marker down, aren’t they?

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Sky New Zealand commentator Grant Nisbett hosts a weekend radio show to which he asked me to contribute as they built up to the test match. Having been laid low for a couple of days with flu and bronchitis, I was more than a little croaky when he phoned to ask. When we went on air two days later, he opened up with the fact that I was sounding much better than before. My response was that I was much better but that I could only assume that Susie had got the room service orders mixed up and that whatever ailments I had had been intended for the Boks. Happy to take one for the team!

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The Westpac Stadium has been an excellent venue for the All Blacks since it replaced Athletic Park as the stadium of choice in Wellington. You could say there is nothing half-baked about their performances there, as it is affectionately known as ‘The Cake Tin’. An extraordinary building from the outside, it is an almost perfect circle covered in corrugated metal that gives it the baking tin look. The wind and rain that swirls around inside it on a winter’s night makes it anything but hot inside however. It was left to local boy Piri Weepu to raise the temperature with his leading of the haka, one of the most passionate ever in a rare start in the number 9 jersey and in front of his home supporters. He was a key figure in the All Blacks’ victory.

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The stinging criticism of the Boks from back home after their second loss hit hard. Although there were serious issues with the one-on-one defending against a pacy and strong New Zealand team playing with great confidence, no-one can dispute the unfortunate role played by the referee. Not a single patriotic New Zealand pundit could justify the call against Danie Rossouw, nor the leniency allowed to Richie McCaw. It got me thinking that by winning in New Zealand two years in a row – having not done so for 10 years previously – this team have created a sense of expectation of victory against the ABs. However, what those victories in Dunedin (Ricky Januarie’s all-time moment of brilliance) and Hamilton (Frans Steyn’s three penalties from inside his half and some wicked bounces for the All Blacks in the dying moments) proved is that to win in New Zealand, you need absolutely everything to go your way, the minutiae, the bounces of the ball, the 50-50 calls. That was never going to be the case in Wellington.

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Set my alarm for the wee hours of Monday morning New Zealand time to watch the closing round of the Open Championship at St Andrews and Louis Oosthuizen proudly and incredibly calmly making his way to his first Major championship in emphatic style. Another fabulous ambassador for South Africa. Still reeling in the pride of our country’s incredible hosting of the FIFA World Cup, it said even more for the strides we have made as a nation for a young Afrikaans golfer to be standing at the Home of Golf on the greatest day of his career, with any number of emotions pouring through his head, and for his first words to be: “Firstly I would like to wish Mr Nelson Mandela a happy birthday; he is 92 today.” Brilliant.

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On to Brisbane, not a traditionally happy hunting ground for Springbok rugby, to try and salvage something from the away leg and a re-introduction to the extremely strict customs and quarantine laws of Australia. Having filled in my form stating that I had no food stuffs that I was bringing in, when asked eye to eye by the customs officer, I remembered that I did in fact have a Bounty bar (coconut coated in chocolate, for those who haven’t had one) in my bag. She then called the supervisor and informed me that I was lucky to have made the “late verbal declaration”, as filling in a customs form incorrectly was a criminal offence. Never before had I realised how potentially dangerous a Bounty bar could be to my reputation...

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On media and training free day, Wednesday, we took a quick trip down to Surfer’s Paradise on the Gold Coast to partake in some outdoor recreational activity – jet-skiing on this occasion – and to catch up with the legendary meter maids. These ladies strut their stuff in gold bikinis that leave little to the imagination, feeding almost expired meters to prevent visitors from getting fines, and then leaving their calling cards to let you know about their good deeds. They have been at it for over 40 years – not the same girls, you’ll understand! – and no chance of them disbanding any time soon. I’m pretty sure that the punters let their meters run down intentionally!