Welcome to your worst nightmare

The revelation of the fixtures for next year’s Super 14 competition is rugby’s version of a Stephen King novel.

The list of 91 matches (plus three play-offs) is a horror story for South African teams and illustrates clearly why Springbok coach Jake White has been ringing the alarm bells so loudly.

If the Super 12 was at times humiliating for local sides the Super 14 is going to be much, much worse.

Added to the programme for the new extended Tri-Nations competition there is only one conclusion – South Africa’s top players have been set up for the kill; rather like those canned lion hunts in which the prey have no chance of survival.

It’s bad for all the teams but the Sharks have ended up with the draw from hell.

The team who finished last this year are one of two South African sides (the other being the Cats) who have ended up with five (instead of four) games on the road in Australia and New Zealand.

The Sharks start off at home in Durban but after their match against the Cheetahs on February 18 they will set off down under and not return again for 36 days. Five weeks and five matches is hard enough for the Springboks; never mind for a team who have look under-resourced and under-powered in the Currie Cup.

On top of this the Sharks will have the appalling task of having to travel to Timaru, a coach trip away from Christchurch in New Zealand’s South Island, to take on the champion Crusaders.

Then, just to make sure they are milked for points, they will return to Australia to play the Waratahs in Sydney, the Brumbies in Canberra before, wait for it!, crossing the Tasman once more to play the Highlanders, back in the South Island, before finishing off with a game against the Hurricanes at a venue still to be disclosed… probably not in Wellington but another bus trip away in Palmerston North.

After this trail of torture those Sharks who are still of sound mind and body will make their way back to Durban and be expected to play the Reds in Durban just eight days, and a jet-lagged intercontinental trip later.

The Cats have drawn a schedule almost as hard with successive away games against the Hurricanes, the Brumbies, the Waratahs, the Crusaders and the Highlanders but they, at least, will return home to a bye.

The Bulls look to have come off best of the South African sides. Semi-finalists this year the Bulls will start off away against the Cheetahs in Bloemfontein followed by a run of four successive home matches, plus their bye, before embarking on an overseas trip – taking in the Western Force in Perth, the Blues in Auckland, the Chiefs at a venue still to be decided and the Reds in Brisbane – in which they will back themselves to get three wins.

On their return the Bulls will have three more home games before finishing of against their “bunnies”, the Stormers, in Cape Town.

The Stormers and the Cheetahs also have reasonable draws, compared to the Sharks and the Cats, but it already looks as though South African hopes for a place in the semi-finals will have to be pinned on the Bulls.

And that’s the Super 14. Next comes the new extended Tri-Nations and, surprise, surprise, the Springboks have been lumbered with having to play their additional matches against the All Blacks and the Wallabies away in the first year.

After a mid-year programme that includes two tests against Scotland and one against France the Boks will probably leave for New Zealand round about July 1 to prepare for the opening test on July 8. They will then play the All Blacks again on July15 (we don’t as yet have the venues) before hopping over to Australia to play the Wallabies on July 22. They will then have a weekend off, remaining in Australia, before taking on the Wallabies again on August 5 – a tour of 37 days.

Then, just to put the proverbial bullet through the brain, the Boks, following their two home matches against New Zealand and Australia, will be packed off north again to play Italy and a double header against England.

I’m afraid the officials who agreed to this lunacy have ensured that it is no longer a question of whether the Boks will fail but when they will fail. All I can say it’s madness. Sheer bloody madness!