Rugby needs more colour

There are two ways of reading the headline on this column.

You could decide it is a Press Release from the office of sports minister Ngconde Balfour, or:

You could interpret it as a call for more razzmatazz at rugby grounds.

You would be wrong on the first count and not quite right on the second.

This is not about quotas and the like and it certainly isn’t about adding to maddening racket that passes for entertainment at most big grounds.

There have been times I have had to restrain myself from walking to public announcer’s booth and sticking his microphone where it hurts most while putting a match to the machine that blasts out loud music.

I could quite happily do without the poorly choreographed dancing troupes and would not bat an eye if the fools in the newly-appeared saunas drowned or the push-up boys suffered terminal cramp.

The colour I’m talking about involves the field and the game itself.

Now that I’m a more or less permanent television watcher it struck me that a lot more can be done to enhance the constricted view provided by the cameras.

For instance it should be common practice that all teams – especially those with dark colours – should have an all-white, or lime green for that matter, change strip to ensure that there is an absolute contrast between the colours of the teams.

Some coaches talk of the “red zone” to indicate a field position from which a try should be scored so why not paint the tryline bright red. One of the limitations of close-up television is an absence of a broader perspective and a red line would help viewers to instantly recognise a team’s field position.

In fact it might be a good idea to make the 22-metre line orange, or whatever, to assist viewers in finding their bearings.

Another idea could be feint lines to mark off 10-metre segments thus giving spectators, commentators and viewers an easy reference to gauge the length of kicks.

Another colour innovation could be the ball itself. How often do you battle to see the white ball, often with red or blue markings, when it is among players with similarly coloured uniforms?

So why not make the ball bright yellow or even luminous pink so that it is visible at all times? In fact I wonder if the players and the referee might not prefer this because it must present difficulties seeing a predominantly white ball against a background of primarily white jerseys.

Now all I’ve got to is convince rugby officials that it was their idea!

Oh, by the way, I have another fabulous idea for stadium managers. Next time you’re putting on a major game why not get some skydivers to float down from the sky and land on the field. Now that’s something that has never been done before.