Week 1

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Thursday, 23 February

Auckland's highways used to be famous for moving at the pace of icebergs but that problem appears to have been solved with the installation of traffic lights at the bottom of every feeder road, literally just as they are about to join the highway. They allow two cars to join at a time during morning rush hour.

Now it's just the traffic in the suburbs around the highways which is snarled up making it virtually impossible for some people to leave their own driveways let alone get to work or take the kids to school. I know this because I witnessed it for a very long time en route to the airport.

The landing into Wellington wasn't pleasant with an even stronger wind than usual for this most windy of cities knocking the aircraft sideways as though it was made of balsa wood. Locals onboard took the bumps and whiplash in their stride but the others among us were considerably less comfortable.

"That was messy - there were a few boys turning either white or green on the approach and there was a bit of relief when we hit the tarmac," said Jacques Kallis to the delight of the local media who had gathered in force for the great man's first press conference.

Jacques admits that his goal is to "still be around - on merit" for the 2015 World Cup but acknowledges that his body may have a different agenda: "I'm as fit as I have ever been in my life and I'm batting as well as I ever have, too, so things couldn't be better at the moment, but who knows what the future holds..." he says.

Asked whether this would be his last appearance in New Zealand, it becomes obvious that he hasn't considered that: "Well, it's been eight years since our last tour and there isn't another before the World Cup, so I guess it will be...but who knows?!"

Crossed paths with Hashim Amla on a late afternoon jog around the harbour. He was wearing an official Proteas tracksuit and no head gear, just in case you wondered whether he 'disguised' himself to avoid attention when out and about. He doesn't. And yes, heads were turning and fingers were pointing. Maybe that was why he was running! A little later I ran past Johan Botha in a grey tracksuit and thick, woolie beanie pulled down to eye level. Barely recognised him!

Quick chat with Gary Kirsten, Allan Donald and Paddy Upton in the evening and we relive the final moments of the T20 win. Turns out Marchant de Lange almost demanded the ball for the final over and was crystal clear and emphatic about what he was going to do and how he was going to bowl each delivery. A phenomenal response from a 21-year-old to such a pressure situation.

It also turns out that he almost joined Colin Ingram, Rusty Theron and Richard Levi on the plane to Sydney at 3:30am the next morning but was halted at the last minute. Selected in the T20 and test squads but not the ODI squad in between, an administrative glitch would have seen the big man from Tzaneen return to SA for barely a week before enduring the arduous return journey and battle against time-zone sleep deprivation. Fortunately, someone realised just in time and he stayed.

Although not officially in the ODI squad, don't be surprised to see him make his debut!

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Wednesday, 22 February

Rained most of the morning and rarely looked like stopping. Very grey and gloomy as I returned from Papakura on the train, which has free wi-fi onboard. Cool.

Intended to walk from the central station through Auckland to my modest abode on Pitt Street but it was pouring down when I emerged into the open so I instinctively jumped onto a bus as much to shelter from the rain as anything else. It stopped, four kilometres later, about five metres from the hotel front door. Sushi for lunch, again. It's everywhere, delicious and proportionately much cheaper than in SA.

Much to bleak to stay in hotel so went to ground super-early to cash in on the wi-fi at Eden Park and watch a bit of the curtain-raiser international between NZ ladies and England ladies who had been far too strong for their hosts in the first two games of their series.

This time, however, England were restricted to just over 100 and NZ were 70-1 and cruising. A few overs later they were 90-8, it rained, and they lost. "It'll be a very long time before I see a choke like that again," I thought to myself.

The amiable and knowledgeable Dion Nash was involved in the commentary build-up and mounted a robust defence of Tim Southee's steadfast determination to keep sledging Richard Levi during the second match despite being belted everywhere: "Luk, he got hut for a few Dorothies, but he rully dudn't bowl budly and he was just doing whut all fast bowlers do and getting stuck in a but..."

Uh? Apparently 'Doroth Dix' was the pseudonym for the original 'Agony Aunt'. Except, surely in New Zealand, when used in cricket parlance, that should be 'Dorothy Dux'?

I then manfully took my fellow commentators' jabs on the chin as the Proteas proceeded to lose about 30 of the first 35 overs of the match only to watch in increasing disbelief as the Black Caps outchoked their ladies. Truly extraordinary. As brilliant as Botha and De Lange were, the game was lost rather than won.

Work finished around 1:00am and, after a late glass of wine and bag-packing were finished, there was only five hours 'til departure to the airport for the flight to Wellington. Amazing how five hours good sleep can be so much better than eight bad hours.

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Tuesday, 21 February

Tremendous practice facilities at the University grounds which AB goes out of his way to praise at the traditional captain’s press conference which follows training.

The outfield is so smooth it looks and feels a bit like astroturf and the nets are plentiful and immaculate. Everybody seems in great spirits – including me, having located a small shopping centre barely 200m from the entrance to the ground at which I’m able to acquire some decent coffee and fantastic sushi. Not everybody’s choice for a late breakfast.

Dale Steyn and Jacques Kallis have been in the country for a couple of days now but make their first appearance during training and spend half an hour bowling at three-quarter pace to AB on a middle strip. There is plenty of banter and chirping – as usual – with AB using the session to practise just a single shot: the ‘dab’ to third man.

Steyn and Kallis bowl a variety of deliveries in order to try and prevent him from playing the shot, but mostly the limited overs captain finds a way to get it down to the boundary. There is much jest but a serious side to it as well, obviously. Eventually Steyn throws down a verbal challenge: “Bet you can’t do it left-handed!”

De Villiers just smiles – and then changes his guard. He looks like the genuine thing! No awkwardness, no clumsiness… Steyn adds a bit of pace to the left-handed de Villiers and lets rip. Dab. Single to third man, easy as you like!

Training comes to an end with news that Richard Levi is apparently the subject of a $400 000 bid from IPL franchise the Pune Warriors. It’s dreamlike stuff, a complete fairytale. That’s close to R3 million. You can be quite sure he wasn’t thinking about anything life changing when he was flaying New Zealand’s hapless bowling attack around Hamilton’s Seddon Park on Sunday, but he’s going to find it hard NOT to think about it almost every minute of the day for the next few months.

After practice I catch a train to Papakura, about 30km outside the city to visit a dear old friend, the midwife who delivered both of my children. Now married and emigrated, she and husband Sid are just a year into the new lives in NZ.

There are many reasons for emigration – it’s rarely simple and straightforward – but inevitably the crime situation and job prospects play their part. Papakura is, apparently, not a ‘fashionable’ suburb but the upside is that they don’t sit in traffic for three hours a day like north Aucklanders are prone to do! Anyway, their rented house is right on the banks of an estuary and quite stunning. We had dinner (lamb shank, what else!?) on the deck overlooking the evening birdlife. Stunning.

But went to bed still thankful for Cape Town and as determined as ever.

Should be a cracker at Eden Park – if the weather allows. Forecast is awful.

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Monday, 20 February

Didn't finish working on Richard Levi stories and interviews until after 2am which resulted in oversleeping. Still, managed to shower and finish packing in under 15 minutes and be on time to meet my fellow commentator (and chauffeur) Brian Waddle for the drive to Auckland.

Sadly, departure is not a smooth process and the bumbling owner of the accommodation makes a hash of the credit card transaction - three times! As a result it now appears to be 'blocked'. I have an emergency number in my travel kit and, after arrival in the capital city, I call it. It is a 1800 number: "The number you have dialed is not recognised, please check...blah blah." At such times you really feel the time difference.

The drive itself is characterised by pleasant scenery and 1097 traffic lights - most of which were just turning to red as we approached. Waddle has done the drive several thousand times but that does not stop him turning purple and gripping the steering wheel with increasingly white knuckles.

Because of my credit card delay we are touch-and-go for a midday press conference at the team hotel - but I think Brian is always like that with traffic lights. We made it, literally with a minute to spare.

I still hadn't seen most of the players in person and the first to bounce up from a comfortable looking sofa in the lobby was Lopsy who offered an outstretched hand and welcomed me to the country. I said I was still battling with sleeping patterns on day four. He said he still hadn't cracked it and it was day 10 for the players!

Levi was there, too, smiling warmly and still graciously accepting congratulations. He was no longer red in the face but I couldn't help thinking he bore the demeanour of a man who'd just had great sex.

Johan Botha was the nominated interviewee and, as always, he was forthright to the point of eyebrow-raising. He uses the power of understatement very cleverly: not sure if it is intentional. Like this: "We always expected them to come hard at us and be in our faces, and that's fair enough, that's the way they think it should be done - we have no problem with that. I thought Richie might have quietened some of them down with his innings, smashing them all over the place, but it's all part of international cricket."

What he might have said: "We knew they'd try and sledge us because they use it as a tactic to make up for their lack of cricket skill. Fortunately most of them backed off and preserved their dignity when Levi was in full flight but Tim Southee made a complete knob of himself and was still swearing at Richie after the game was over and he'd been smashed to every corner of the ground."

Quiet evening in my hotel room working. Was planning on a takeaway but decided to make an early assault on sleep.

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Sunday, 19 February

Wow. Richard Levi.

A quiet (and very long) day was turned on its head by the brilliant Cobras opener who not only broke two T20 world records and shared a third, but did so with a brutality on the field matched only by the dignity and modesty he showed off it.

A century off 45 balls is ridiculous enough, but 13 sixes...? No doubt his score of 117 (shared with Chris Gayle and Brendon McCullum) will be broken 'soonish', but the speed and number of maximums may take a while longer.

It's been no silver spoon ride to the top for Levi. Sure, he was 'privileged', but sometimes that can make it even harder. The weight of expectation sits heavier on the shoulders of those with no 'excuse' for failure.

The day was always going to be a long one when Jet Lag insisted, again, that I woke three hours earlier than desired. The solution was a two-hour run along the banks of the endlessly pleasant Waikato River.

Still, the day had hardly started by the end of it. The sun was shining and the day's cricket yearning to start. It was midday and the game was still seven hours away! Bizarre scheduling, but TV revenue is what keeps the game moving and cannot be reasonably argued against. Especially when Hamilton's Seddon Park was a sell-out.

Three hours later, it was obvious my day was only going to get longer. Whereas Levi's brutal and ruthless assassination of the Kiwi bowling attack had ended the match 20 minutes early, his triple world record meant there was a good deal more media time required than normal.

"Hey, so you made it just in time!" joked Levi when I approached with the radio microphone. I apologised for being the third to ask for an one-on-one interview, after the press conference. The look on his face was nothing more (or less) than non-plussed. While it may have been his 'duty' to talk to the media, he obviously regarded it as more of a privilege than a chore.

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Danny boy

Daniel Vettori famously made his test debut for New Zealand as a 17-year-old schoolboy and has remained a major force in international cricket ever since.

He is one of the most widely respected cricketers in the world and would still be a first choice pick for the Black Caps in all three formats of the game - if he was available.

Initially the left arm spinner retired from ODI cricket following New Zealand's semifinal defeat to Sri Lanka at last year's World Cup but continued in the shortest and longest formats of the game.

Now, while he remains a hot property in the IPL, he has limited his national availability to test cricket alone and will no doubt feature prominently against South Africa when the 'real stuff' arrives at the end of the tour.

Vettori was always known for his refreshing honesty as a player and continued in that vein as a captain when he refused to stoop to cliches during press conferences, once famously explaining a defeat with the words: "No analysis needed, really, we were just crap."

The young man eventually grew out of the 'pretty boy' image which characterised the first years of his career and appeared to try and hasten the process as he approached his 30s by shaving his head and growing a beard.

If the photographs of his early playing days make him cringe, then he must hate the one in the President's Suite at Northern Districts headquarters in Hamilton. Fortunately, he also has a fine sense of humour and there would be a smile on his face if he knew it was being reproduced here!

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Saturday, 18 February

Despite much previous experience, I failed to ignore the impulses of the body which were screaming “Get Up!” So I did. At 5:45am. Barely three hours after going to bed. Sometimes it’s important to break the golden rule – ‘listen to your body’. At times like this, it should be steadfastly ignored.

Despite the tragic effects, and after effects, of the earthquakes in Christchurch, the New Zealand economy still seems remarkably strong and the result is that prices are bordering on astronomical for travelling tourists. At least, for South African tourists.

My early morning hunt for breakfast resulted in a tiny pot of fruit salad (five pieces of apple, four grapes and three chunks of pineapple) for a shade under R45. Still, it was fresh and delicious.

Taxis are excellent and plentiful, but beyond budget. Oddly, there are many ‘Airport Shuttle’ vehicles which are twice the size and half the price of the cabs. How does that work? Maybe people are prepared to pay 50% more just to travel by themselves…?

By the time the fog clears from my eyes I realise that most cricket-following Kiwis are in a mild state of shock about the comfort and impression of the victory in the opening T20 match. People keep asking me whether I think it’s a ‘one-off’ – and what went wrong with the Proteas.

I suggest to all of them that they should appreciate and celebrate the performance of the Black Caps, which was outstanding. Will SA “hit back hard” I’m asked on a radio interview. I don’t know. But I can honestly say that I’m not sure, man-for-man, that the tourists deserve to be rated as overwhelming favourites. Or even favourites, in the T20 format. The margin between the teams will, I suspect, grow wider as the tour moves to 50-over and then test cricket.

Nine years ago, on South Africa’s last tour of New Zealand, I ‘ghosted’ a column for Graeme Smith in the Cape Times. On arrival in Hamilton, the young Smith made the mistake of describing the town as the ‘Hill Billy capital of New Zealand’. I made the even bigger mistake of including the comment in his column. Oh dear. It still hasn’t been forgotten!

Way back then a group of people turned up to the test match dressed in checked shirts carrying various placards which were not appropriate for television. You can rest assured that our national test captain will encounter them again later in the tour.

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Friday, 17 February

There's no point moaning about international travel – most of the world's population would love to know what it feels like to travel half way across the world in 24 hours and end up 11 hours ahead of where you started.

So I will never complain. It's just a bit disorientating. I'm writing this at midnight but my body is saying, "I don't want to go to bed, I haven't even had lunch."

Commentating on a match within 20 hours of arrival in New Zealand was a new experience, but much less intimidating than I had expected. Two previous tours to NZ in '99 and '04 were immensely enjoyable and there were many familiar faces. I even remembered where the radio commentary box was – eventually. "Where have you been?" asked my old mate, Brian Waddle. "It's only been nine years since you were here last!"

What a beating on Friday night. It gets wearying to hear about the Proteas' failings all the time when they have been outplayed. What's wrong with giving credit to the opposition? It wasn't enjoyable watching the team get belted, but the standard of the Black Caps' cricket was outstanding – and enjoyable, for that matter.

I've been surprised at the level of excitement in New Zealand about the Proteas' arrival. It's not just the lack of regular top-level international competition, but the belief that New Zealand really has a squad capable of challenging the best in the world.

England and India are widely regarded as 'home town' wonderboys in this part of the world and South Africa, without a defaulting voice so far (in the admittedly very short time I've been here) are regarded as the 'best' team in the world because they have been able to win on the road.

Richard Levi looked very nervous tonight but, at the same time, was never out of his depth. He's the man for the future.

I'm still a big fan of Rusty Theron, and Colin Ingram has class. So has Lopsy Tsotsobe, although he's going to have to get used to the rugby-field boundaries in these parts and disguise his slower ball a bit better! The 127-metre hit by Martin Guptill is still eye-watering!

Right, the plan is to supplement the daily diary in future with a video or two, if Internet connectivity allows. Watch this space...