Drink or drive

“Unbelievable,” said the Pakistani journalist sitting a couple of seats to my right. “Absolutely unbelievable, even for us, and we have seen many unbelievable things,” he said, shaking his head.

Sunday had started in Dubai, 130 kilometres across the desert, with the summary dismissal of Salman Butt’s and Mohammed Amir’s appeal against their suspension from all cricket following the spot-fixing allegations. Nobody can work out why they appealed in the first place. Both arrived with separate lawyers for the hearing which, contrary to popular but misguided perception, had nothing to do with their innocence or guilt concerning the fixing charges.

The hearing was about whether they had brought the game into disrepute and therefore whether their suspensions were valid. How could anybody possibly deny that the scandal had brought the game into disrepute?

Official comment from the ICC is necessarily thin on the ground – legal cases are always very sensitive. But an independent source told me that, if the governing body was ever judged to have suspended the trio of players unfairly, they would probably face a lawsuit of at least $20 million. They would never, ever have suspended the players unless every legal opinion they could gather gave them 100% chance of proving the players guilty. Yet another well placed source told me that the case against the players was based on over 40 hours of recorded conversations between players and ‘unsavoury third parties.’

Sunday ended with Abdul Razzaq humiliating a Proteas bowling attack like never before. Ten sixes and seven fours. As brilliant as his ball striking was, the bowling was dire. It seems the Proteas are no nearer to finding the answer to their bowling conundrum. Who can bowl at the ‘death’ of the innings? In fact, after that performance they are probably further away than ever to finding the answer.

In the absence of Dale Steyn and Jacques Kallis, both of whom could been entrusted with the job of defending 14 runs in the final over, Johan Botha turned to Albie Morkel whose previous overs had been hammered. Charitable observers will note that it was a brave decision and laudable that the captain should show faith in a player under siege at a crucial time.

Less charitable critics might point out that Botha has a history of bowling at ‘suitable’ times during the innings and rarely has more than four men in the fielding circle when he does. They may also note that he had bowled only eight of his ten overs when over number 50 was due and that he had conceded only 41 runs from them. But instead of backing himself, he gave the ball to an all rounder whose temperament under pressure, with the ball rather than bat, has long been suspect.

Wise after the event? No. It was screamingly obvious at the moment that it was time for the stand-in captain to step up, lead from the front and win the game. Even if it he had lost it, the gesture would have made an impression on the players strong enough to last for the rest of his captaincy career.

Meanwhile, life continues to amaze in this extraordinary country. Having survived six trips across the desert on the infamous Sheikh Zayed highway in my hire car, it was time to fill up. It cost 77 Dirhams (+-R140) for a full tank. To celebrate surviving the highway, I persuaded my resident friend to take me to a drankwinkel (all darkened windows and no advertising outside) with his liquor licence. A good bottle of wine was called for.

Wrong. The good bottles would have cost three days living allowance. A basic, very unpretentious bottle of table wine would do. Cost? 75 Dirhams. It’s one good reason to drink OR drive in the UAE. A better reason, however, is that the permitted level of alcohol for driving is nought, zero, nothing. Zero tolerance. And the punishment for those who challenge the system and get caught is 25 days in jail. It’s a harsh country, but it works.