Tweets, twits and twaddle

I don’t get it. What’s all this garbage about Twitter? Call me old fashioned and someone who relies on more personal interaction but these twits who tweet their boring existence for all to … well … get bored by … need to get out more!

Both Kevin Pietersen and Dimitri Mascarenhas have fallen fowl of ‘the suits’ in recent times for their perceived inappropriate use of this social network but really, who cares?! I actually do not want to know what people are up to or how they feel. If it is important enough I will read about it in the papers. Least of all I do not want to read inane tweets like the one that stumbled across my inbox recently that boldly stated that Player X “was tired after a hard training session while gearing up for the Champions League but that was OK because now he would soon be spending time with his family.” Player Y delivered the earth shattering news that “PE was a bit boring.” Player Z told all and sundry that he was “back in the hotel and having room service.” How enlightening. What staggering information. Alert the media! I slept soundly that evening.

It seems I am not the only one who is seeing the light. The latest to depart the micro-blogging site is Grammy-award-winning singer John Mayer who last week abruptly disengaged himself from his 3.7 million twits. Comedian Ricky Gervais hopped on the Twitter bandwagon last December when he hosted the Oscars but binned it unceremoniously immediately after the event tweeting, “going to stop these tweets because I don’t see the point.”

Exactly!

The amusing Larry David of Curb your Enthusiasm fame has also abandoned the fad. His last tweets summed it all up succinctly. He wrote, "Again, this thing is asking me what I'm doing. I'm sitting here in front of a computer. What else would I be doing? Playing tennis?" Or, "What the hell is this thing? I'm supposed to tell you what I'm doing? Why would I tell you what I'm doing? What are YOU doing?"

Those who invented this banal irritation tell us, “There are many benefits for joining Twitter. Celebrities see it as a great opportunity to communicate with fans, give them information and get feedback.” Stuff that. Who really wants mindless feedback from infatuated fans or evil doodlers? Yes, constructive feedback is the breakfast of champions but my suggestion is to personally select trustworthy individuals whose advice you respect and grow from their constructive comments.

Maybe within this rant I have stumbled upon something. It is the key word ‘celebrity’. What is a true celebrity? How many people are living a narcissistic pantomime believing they belong in the superficial world of celebrity, when truth be known they couldn’t tie the laces of such genuine luminaries? The correct definition of a celebrity is someone who has accurately achieved, not some brainless egotistical airhead who has self promoted to an extent that he or she believes his or her own hype and propaganda. Authentic celebrities are as rare as a sober Lindsay Lohan or a trouble free Paris Hilton

Back to my point. Those who are celebrities in the true sense could use Twitter to their advantage as it enables the opportunity to bypass media releases and interact directly with those who follow them. This unfettered form of communication when used correctly is definitely beneficial to many, but before doing so indulge in a reality check. Ask yourself, are you worthy?

To those twits whose tweets are mindless garbage, please give it up. We actually don’t care. We are not entertained by your drivel and, most importantly, if you really want to speak to someone send them a personal email or a text. That is the art of communication.

You need to get out more.