Phoney Technology

You know by now that I have been advocating for a long time that the use of technology should be further introduced to cricket. My reasons are simple.

This step will ensure the right decisions are made so that games and careers are not affected and importantly, enjoyment is enhanced.

Over the last week I have changed my mind. I have been jolted by the realisation that cricket and technology should be poles apart!

My main problem is that I have just obtained a new cell phone. It is one of those super duper new fangled things that is capable of doing everything except pour a beer.

Following extensive reading of the novel that comes with the machine, I have set it up to receive SMS's, email, MMS, voice recordings, video clips, instant alerts, WAP, 3G and even, I think, the 3W's ! All with the special vibrating effect!

So there I was, enjoying a barbeque last Monday evening when all hell broke loose. Suddenly the thing started hopping about all over the place on my bar counter as mates from all over the globe kindly informed me that Australia has suffered a defeat in the 20 over International clash in England. Those who are English informed me that Australia had just suffered defeat at the hands of the World Champions.

Usually, it is nice to keep in contact with friends who are miles away!!

Taking solace in the fact that this form of the game is entertaining but not the real thing, I was able to ignore the incessant gloating and vibrating and get back to my job at hand....... turning the meat between gulps of the amber fluid.

Between Monday and Saturday, following further digesting of the cell phone instruction novel that was now taking on a life of it's own, I was able to proudly add a few more features.

So there I was, enjoying a barbeque on Saturday evening when all hell broke loose. Suddenly my new communication device with all the bells and whistles, leapt into action accompanied by a cacophony of noise.

It is quite startling to witness a non-living being go beserk and imitate a xmas tree on steroids in an effort to grab your attention. My phone's antics some six days before were attention seeking but relatively brief.

This time my phone behaved badly non-stop for about fifteen minutes. I decided to wait until my beer was finished to address the commotion.

Just as I had my last sip, off the damn thing went again. I took a democratic decision amongst myself and cracked another coldie. A third was consumed before all the bells and whistles and vibrating devices were exhausted!

Apprehensively I checked the now live apparatus.

Easy retrieval of information is one of its selling points. I pushed a button or two and off it went in a frenetic, demented fashion. My inbox was full.

All the initiators details were so long they looked like telephone numbers..... which they were! Upon extracting a few communications I found the message was loud and clear.... and the language colourful!

Bangladesh had beaten Australia. I immediately lost my appetite but gained a severe thirst.

Technology and cricket just don't cut it for me anymore!

p.s. My cell phone was turned off on Sunday!!!