Cricket, coffee....and Angelina Jolie

I have a story to tell ……

Americans love their coffee. At any one time in Los Angeles it is possible to walk into a local coffee shop and be stunned by the number of local residents totally lost in their own world as they tap away furiously on their laptop keyboards while nodding away in a self induced trance-like state, courtesy of their high-voltage ipods.

It is a sort of lost society of its own that communicates with the odd wink, scratch, smile, mouthed word or exaggerated digit manoeuvre. It seems quite an art to effortlessly exist in this world of industrious hipness but it is one that is temporarily visited by millions on this part of the planet on a daily basis as caffeine and wi-fi levels spike considerably, simultaneously.

There is an intrigue to this provisional existence and it certainly appears to be productive. I decided this week to knock on the door of this habitual way of life and join the throngs at my local Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf for a couple of hours of research. I arrived suitably attired … read Levis, t-shirt, Lakers cap and ‘sneakers’. Within minutes I was unpacked, plugged in, logged on, locked in and loaded.

With the employ of my thumb, a nod and a wink, my steaming extra-hot tall cafe latte was perched next to me in the blink of an eye. I was totally engrossed in my newfound hobby and it seemed like I had been surfing the web for minutes. A quick glance at my watch confirmed this. Just as I was moving from one cricket website to the next I sensed a distinct change of atmosphere in the room as everyone around me abruptly became restless and preoccupied in a nonchalant sort of way.

As I looked up I followed the gaze of my fellow propeller heads. Did I mention Americans love their coffee? Well they do, but they have an enormous fascination with something else too and when the two happen to come together, for them, its paradise.

Coffee with a healthy dash of celebrity represents a walk through nirvana for the average caffeine brewster. My eyes locked on the shop entrance along with about 30 other pairs and I was astonished as in walked Lara Croft. A quick Google on my conveniently placed laptop confirmed in fact that it was not really her but Angelina Jolie!

Further frenetic taps on my keyboard confirmed the 5 foot 6 inch actress resides in the area, weighs in at 125 pounds, has a dozen tattoos, has Czechoslovakian and Native American heritage and as a child wanted to be a funeral director. Maybe that explains why she is drop-dead gorgeous!

She sashayed up to the counter and ordered a grande extra hot low fat mocha latte with liquid sweeter, cinnamon and additional froth to go. I am sure she requested that the beans were originally from Somalia. Not that I was paying close attention. As is the case in the US when ordering coffee, paying, and then awaiting its delivery, the behind the counter salesperson asked her name. Angelina not surprisingly said … Angelina. All around me nodded in agreement.

She had a minder with her but I sensed that if one person even so much as looked at her in a menacing way, at least 15 of my fellow red-blooded coffee-guzzling American alpha males would throw their ipods and laptops in a heap and leap out of their chairs to beat the offending lunatic to a pulp at the first sign of threat. An incident-free few minutes followed as she answered her cellphone and turned her back on us all.

By the way ….. did you know that the tattoo on her left shoulder blade is a Magical Pali incantation written in Khmer, the native language of Cambodia. She got this tattoo to protect herself and Maddox, her son, from bad luck and to avoid accidents.

It reads:

May your enemies run far away from you.
If you acquire riches, may they remain yours always.
Your beauty will be that of Apsara. (a celestial dancer in Khmer mythology)
Wherever you may go, many will attend, serve and protect you, surrounding you on all sides.

May I thank Google again.

Lara got her coffee and left. At least 15 red-blooded alpha American males (and one Australian) let out a collective sigh as previously tensed abdominal muscles relaxed and expanded chest cavities collapsed.

I know what you are thinking. Although this titillating experience must have been enjoyable and indulging for me, what the heck has it all got to do with cricket??

Well ….. here it is.

Angelina loves eating fried crickets which are considered to be rich in protein.

Thanks Google.