A river runs through it......

I have a story to tell.

The flood gates opened on day three of the opening test match as South Africa plundered the lacklustre Indian attack (actually read defence) to all parts of SuperSport Park. It was a mauling that understandably distressed skipper Dhoni post match, and that alone will prompt introspection and some crossing of fingers in the hope that Zaheer is ready to be unleashed come Boxing Day in Durban.

Actually, unbeknown to us, the flood gates were opened on day one.....about late afternoon!

On the evening of Wednesday the 15th, following a hectic couple of days after my arrival in Johannesburg, I finally jumped on the motorway and started my trek to Centurion in anticipation of the opening salvo the following day. All seemed totally normal, even to the extent that rain was falling which is par for the course when SuperSport Park is scheduled to have a test match! Upon arrival at our hotel, I parked my rather zippy hire car in the basement car park and proceeded to join my fellow commentators for a bite to eat and a chin wag. It was still raining.

The next morning, following my cross Atlantic flight, my body clock was screaming at me to wake up early. I groped for the remote in the dark, finally located it, and settled in for some Ashes action at about 4am. It was raining cats and dogs outside now. A couple of hours later, after checking some riveting stuff on the box from Perth, I made my way downstairs to breakfast. A perky Shaun Pollock was already there and after I tucked into some scrambled eggs and a gallon of coffee he offered me a lift to the ground. As we left the hotel, which is on the banks of the Hennops River, Polly commented about how high the water level was as it gushed under us while driving across a small bridge outside the hotel. By now we both thought the rain was getting heavier and we bumped into a bloke called Noah labouring with some planks of wood, a hammer, some nails ...... and lots of animals!

Anyway, off we went to the cricket, feeling none too optimistic that play would actually get under way on day one. Suddenly, after a frustrating few hours, some clearing weather and feverish endeavours from the ground staff, we were off and running and before we knew it South Africa was carving up India's top six. Jeremy Fredericks needed to call the hotel mid afternoon to check on a matter and that was when he was given the startling news. He was informed that the hotel foyer was flooded and access was to be impossible after the day's play. Worse information was still to come and a wide-eyed Rhino was soon bustling my way to enlighten me.

As it turned out I was the only commentator who left his hire car in the subterranean garage that morning. It was not alone though as another eleven vehicles were parked there as well. The trouble was that now they were all drowned! Apparently some distance away, the river flood gates had been opened to release some pressure build up and a massive wall of water came gushing down the Hennops River and cascaded towards the hapless hotel that was protected by a small retaining wall that stood no chance against this rampaging force of nature. The end result was that the underground car park that was previously safely housing my innocent hire car was quickly filled to a height of ten foot as the water smashed through the wall and instantly found a convenient low lying basement. My car, not being of the amphibious kind, met a quick and somewhat watery death in the space of minutes as all the electronics that these days make up a vehicle protested, revolted and instantaneously rolled over. Sadly, it's fate was to be even more complicated as the water pumps were brought in and a long and arduous all day and night task began, to remove a large chunk of the Hennops River from the basement parking garage.

It actually wasn't until 24 hours later that a sad and sorry totally saturated lifeless vehicle was wrenched out to dry dock. What a state it was in as it was unceremoniously yanked from it's previous safety zone. It was immediately declared a total write off and hauled away to that giant car yard in the sky. One by one his drowned friends also joined him.

It will not surprise you one bit that my commentator mates thought it was hilarious and decided that it was my perfect welcome back present!

Cheers guys!